


Bodacious Babes and Tubular Guys

by kisstheprincessofpurewhite



Category: Romeo And Juliet - Shakespeare, SHAKESPEARE William - Works
Genre: 80s skater au, 80s slang, F/M, I Blame Tumblr, The 80s AUAU, Total AU, Tumblr Prompt, Writing Prompt, but i might, don't dare me to write something, i will fucking do it man, probably won't continue, we'll see fam, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 09:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7096759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisstheprincessofpurewhite/pseuds/kisstheprincessofpurewhite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompted by wishfulina on tumblr. "Romeo and Juliet, set in an 80s suburbia between two rival skater crews. Complete with outdated 80s references and slang." Had a blast writing it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bodacious Babes and Tubular Guys

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea who wishfulina is or how she knows who I am...they probably read "I'm Here to Dance"...I have no idea, but she follows me on tumblr, found this prompt, and mentioned me in a post asking me to do this prompt. I thought it was hilarious so I spent the last three hours writing it and now its 1 am. This is completely unedited and unbetaed. I used this site for the slang (wwwdotinthe80sdotcom/glossarydotshtml) and I just sparked notes'd R&J because I didn't feel like rereading it. I hope you enjoy.

For Ben, it had been a pretty righteous day. Got to see Tio, veg a little, and then shredded a little. But it all came to a head when he saw his cousin, Rommy, lookin’ like he’d had a mondo bummer day. Rommy was sitting on the steps in the Red Skate park, where the Monties always skated. Rommy was one of their most kick-ass skaters, and rightly so, as his dad was the legit leader. 

Rommy didn’t seem to notice when Ben sidled up to him, and sat down.

“What’s crackalackin’, homefry?” he asked.

Rommy sighed and shook his head, leaning back on his elbows. “Nothin’, man, everything’s trunkincular.”

“Naw man, you look like a total wastoid. You juiced or something?”

Rommy sighed and shook his head, looking away.

“Bro, c’mon, I thought we were tight, and you’re acting like a total space cadet.”

“Step off, Benny!” Rommy said, inching away.

Ben huffed and shook his head. Rommy only called him “Benny” because he knew Ben hated that name. Only his mom called him “Benny.”

“Sorry for acting mental, bro. I just don’t like seeing you act this lame.”

Rommy sighed and cradled his head in his hand, he was never able to hide anything from his cousin. “I’m- I’m-“

“What, bro?”

“I’m sprung…” 

Ben gasped a little and covered his mouth. “For cereal?”

Rommy nodded.

“Who’s the chick?”

“Rosaline, but I saw her scamming with some other guy.”

“Bro, that girl is a total trendie and a skeezer. Forget about her.”

“I can’t get her out of my brain, bro. I’m trippin’ hard.”

Ben stood up and pulled Rommy to his feet. “C’mon, let’s go back to my place for some grindage. Maybe we’ll run into Tio and he can come with us.”

“I don’t know about that guy, he’s a total flamer,” Rommy said as Ben dragged him along.

Ben laughed half-heartedly, but swallowed as he dragged his cousin along. Sure enough, they ran into Tio not far out of the park, and the three of them headed over to Ben’s place. Ben caught Tio up on Rommy’s romantic endeavors, or lack of, and now they were both trying to cheer him up.

As they headed over to Ben’s car, they passed a couple of groupies leaning against a tree and talking. It was a guy and a girl, and they appeared to be arguing over whether or not to go to a party.

“Who cares if the Blue Skate Park is where everything’s happenin’, Paris is a total hotdogger,” said the girl.

“But babe, I kid you not, this party is going to be mega, hella’ tubular, and if we don’t go, we’ll be shunned from the Caps for life,” said the guy.

Tio nudged Ben and walked over to the two, who looked him up and down.

“Hey,” said Tio. “Did you say there’s a party over that the Blue Skate park?”

“No fake,” said the girl. “Heard it’s going to be a real skate-o-rama. All the primo people are going to be there.”

“Oh really? Like who?”

“Well, all the Caps, that’s for sure, Paris Perez, Rosaline Dumont, Tye Cap, just to name a few,” said the guy.

“What about bodacious babes for my boy toys, here?” asked Tio.

“Oh please,” said the girl. “Fugly girls wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near.”

“Thanks, maybe we’ll stop by.”

“Maybe we’ll see you,” said the guy.

Too walked back up to where Ben and Rommy were staring at him like he had two heads.

“We can’t go to a Caps party!” Ben said. “What are you, a total ditz?”

“Chill!” Tio said. “If it’s bunk, we’ll bounce, don’t worry about it. There’ll be cold chicks there, and our friend can realize he’s better off without that stella girl.”

“She’ll be there,” Rommy said. “We have to go, Rosaline will be there.”

Ben and Tio side-glanced each other, shrugged, and then headed off to Ben’s car to start towards the Blue Skate Park.

* * *

 

Jules sighed as the sound of scraping and music playing pushed every thought out of her mind. She pursed her lips and kept her eyes trained on Paris, who was currently on the half-pipe with Tye, her cousin.

Nonnie was chatting her ear off, but Jules wasn’t listening. After years of being baby-sat by the older woman, she had mastered the art of tuning Nonnie out.

“Jules, Jule! Are you listening?”

“What?”

“Stop acting like a hoser, and listen to me!”

“What’d you say?”

“Paris, thoughts?”

“Righteous city, bet they have some tubular skating parks.”

Nonnie scoffed. “As if, no, as boyfriend material. He’s totally sprung for you, girl.”

Jules shrugged and sipped her drink. “He’s pretty schweet.”

“‘Scweet’? He’s a stud!”

“Whatever you say, Nonnie.”

“Would you go out with him if he asked?”

Jules shrugged. “If he asked, probs.”

* * *

 

It was nearly half and hour before Rommy, Ben, and Tio all arrived at Blue Skate Park. It certainly was a party, and as they mingled with the crowd, they started to get the full context. The head-honcho, Mr. Cap himself, was throwing this party in honor of Paris Perez joining the Cap Skater Crew, shunning the Monties in the process. Ben knew that if anyone recognized him and Rommy from the Monties, they would be toast out the door.

“Whoa…” Rommy breathed, and his companions looked at him, then where he was looking. He was staring at a girl sitting at a bench with an older woman. The girl looked like a total poofer, and not someone Rommy usually went for, but here they were. 

A commotion from one side made everyone turn to look, and Tye Cap was shouting from one side of the half pipe, pointing wildly towards Rommy and his friends. The three of them split, but some people from Tye’s posse began to calm him down.

Rommy made his way over to the girl, who was now alone on the bench. She had turned her head to look at Tye, and Rommy stood in front of her, hands in pockets, heart in throat.

“Uh, yello,” he said, and she turned her head back to him. She blinked once, and her a blush rose up her face.

“S- s’up?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Icy, just like this party.”

She made a face and looked around. 

“You don’t think so?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘icy’ so much as bunk, can you relate?”

Rommy nodded, but then tilted his head. “I don’t know, I’ve seen some pretty dag parties, and this isn’t so bad. Except for when, Herb over there went ballistic.” Rommy gestured over to where Tye was.

Jules laughed and shook her head. “He can be harsh, but he’s exo skeleton most of the time.”

Rommy scoffed and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “He looks like he’s juicin’.”

Jules shook her head, and smiled. “He’s a clydesdale, and he’ll give you a fresh one, don’t get me wrong, but, like I said, he can be chill.”

Rommy nodded and turned his eye back to the girl. “Good, and what about you?”

Jules blinked and blushed again. “What about me?”

“Will I be sportin’ an eye jammy if I say- ask for your number?”

Jules felt like her insides were set on fire, and strange noises came out of her throat as she tried to speak. “Uh, no- no, you won’t uh- here.” She grabbed the pen out of Nonnie’s purse, which was sitting next to her, and scribbled her number on the back of a napkin. She handed it over to Rommy.

“Thanks, girl,” he said. 

“I- I usually don’t give my number out to strangers.”

“I promise I won’t be a hoser and not call.” Just then Ben grabbed Rommy’s arm and pulled him away.

“Gotta jet, c’mon,” he said as he pulled Rommy away.

They ran for the car as Ben explained that Tye had recognized them, and had sent his posse out to look for them.

“Bro,” said Rommy as he stared at the napkin still in his hand. “I met the most amazing girl, and she gave me her number too.”

“Was it that poofer on the bench?” Tio asked, eyeing him nervously.

“She’s not a poofer, but she was sitting on a bench.”

“Dude…that was Jules Cap…”

“Wait, what?” Rommy asked looking up. “No way, she couldn’t have been!”

“She is,” said Tio. “Someone at the party told me. And I’ve seen her skate before.”

“You’ve been to a Cap event?” Ben piped up. “I thought you were one of us!”

“Hey, I’m not any part of this whole feud, I just enjoy watching skating. Anyway, that was totally Jules, man. Tye’s cousin and the daughter of Mr. Cap, himself.”

Rommy fingered the napkin in his hand and stared out the window.

“So…” Tio said after a moment. “Are you going to call her?”

“Tio!” said Ben. “He’d be spazzing if he would do that, no way! Right, Rommy?”

Rommy didn’t answer.

* * *

 

Nonnie at least waited until there were less guests to break the bad news to Jules.

“What?!” Jules almost screamed. “No way that was Rommy Montie, it- it couldn’t have been.”

“Don’t be such a mall chick, Jules. I saw you two, it was totally Rommy. And that guy he was with was his cousin, Ben Montie.”

“But- but-“

“Tye recognized him right away, but he knew you’re dad would throw a hissy if he knew a Montie was at his party, much less two, and so he didn’t do anything.”

Jules shook her head and then cradled her head in her hands.

“Stop acting mental, it isn’t like anything happened between you two.”

Jules swallowed, and felt her blush cover her entire body.

“Jules…?”

“Uh, yeah, Nonnie?”

“Did anything happen?”

“Well, I may have- hypothetically speaking of course, given him my number…”

Every fiber of Nonnie froze and her mouth dropped open. “What the frick were you thinking?”

Jules shrugged. “That a totally tubular guy at a Cap party asked for my number.”

“But you have a ‘totally tubular guy’ already! Paris!”

“As if! Dad wants me to date him, and I just want to skate, Nonnie! Whatever happened to just wanting to shred some half pipe? When did it become more important to grill the Monties over skating? I hope he does call me! I hope we get along and can just skate!”

Jules got up and ran away from Nonnie, away from the Blue Skating park, away from her family. She grabbed her long-board from inside her car and headed for the hilly part of the suburbs. She just wanted to skate.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, stick it to the man, Juliet. You go girl. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this. I probably won't continue it, but it exists, you know? It's a thing now because of me...You're welcome.  
> Yeah, I probably could've come up with better names for everyone including the parks, but its 1 am and these were so much easier.


End file.
